At the start of 2016 I gave a lot of f**ks about what people thought (I’m going to asterix out the naughty letters for the sake of Google thinking I’m vile or some such)
A majority of those f**ks were swiftly taken away from me when I left a job and therefore my flat in London. The remaining f**ks I gave constituted of a s**t load of stuff which I packed jenga style into a large van destined for my Mother’s garage in Suffolk.
Feeling like I’d gone back a decade wasn’t the nicest feeling, I mean who can be proud to say they’re living with their (lovely) mother in their early 30’s, in the middle of nowhere in a society where it’s rare to spot someone younger than 50.
I had a lot of times on my hands and a great deal of time alone to think, but also read. I’d had some folk banging on at me to read Marie Kondo’s “The life changing magic of tidying up” but I was far more interested in “The life changing magic of not giving a fuck” by Sarah Knight. (by the way I was also bought the tidying up book, which I’ll move onto next)
I’m not very swift with reading books unless they make me chuckle whilst giving me lists to make, which is incredibly specific, but “The life changing magic of not giving a fuck” knocked me out of the park.
In the book Sarah Knight asks you to complete an exercise where you sit on a cold hard floor and write all of the things you give a fuck about, these may include fucks worth giving (sorry Sarah, I admit to not moving from my comfy chair). Then she asks you to cross out all of the things you genuinely don’t give a f**k about, or at least shouldn’t. This leaves you only with the list of things and people worth giving a fuck about, coupled with a bold sense of accomplishment and freedom.
Sarah also provides a Venn diagram which helps you visualise money, effort and time associated with the f**ks given. Allowing you to focus on the things that matter when most of us only live once, apart from the reincarnated ones.
Here’s just a few of the 100+ f**ks I gave up over 2016 (if you need me to justify this list, probably best you stop reading)
- The news (TV, broadsheet, narrowsheet, glossy mags, facebook…)
- Other people’s opinions on music (unless it’s Lauren Laverne or my friend Kelcy)
- Weddings abroad
- Hen Do’s abroad
- Anything abroad that doesn’t involve me by a private villa pool sipping cocktails before 12pm
- Office work
- Mass emails without my name after “dear”
- Other’s opinions of me
- Un-worthy hangovers
- Linked In
- Google +
- Online dating
- People asking me to work for free (you know who you are)
- “Business wear”
- What my hair looks like at the back
A few f**ks I implemented in 2016
- Starting my own business
- Self respect
- Being paid for my work
- Minimising my home
- Spending more time with friends and family
- Writing my book
- Schedules and pre-schedules (Thank-you Google spreadsheets and Hootsuite)
- Spending time with other non-f**k givers
- “Active wear” as a daily uniform
- Brighton beach gazing
Without having even read the book, I’d managed to remove all those f**ks in a way that felt almost.. not out of choice. Having read this book in the last few days it’s all become very clear just how freeing giving less f**ks feels! I will endeavour in 2017 to cross out even more of the f**ks given and I hope you will too with yours!
Here are a couple of articles I wrote last year which encompass some of the parts of the no f**k journey I was undeniably on:
Note – on the mental health blog post I’m 2nd on the first page of natural search results for “interior design and mental health” in the whole of Google! (which surely means the world, right?) Whhaaaaaaatt? Check it out! I hope that at least gives you enough gravitas to read it.
I’ve signed up to Sarah’s newsletter tinyletter.com/sarahknight you should too…also I would love for you to sign up to mine, as things are getting a lot more real in my writing! (sign up top right of the website) merci!
2017 is starting nicely by adding a f**k with my incredible f**king view! Thank-you Brighton. (Yes, it’s far away but that is the sea)